What Psychotherapy is Not: Challenging Two Myths about Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a widely misunderstood profession. The media present a variety of images of therapy (e.g., people laying on couches talking to a mostly silent therapist). Some of these images are more consistent with the actual practice of therapy, and others are more consistent with Hollywood ideas (and the need to make shows dramatic and riveting to the viewer). Unfortunately, many people do not seek help when they need it, due to many reasons, including mistaken ideas of what therapy is about and what happens in therapy.

To understand what psychotherapy is and what it can do for you, it is helpful to know what it is not. Here I will debunk 2 widely believed myths about psychotherapy.

1. Myth: Psychotherapy is about making you feel good

Fact: Psychotherapy is about personal improvement, which can feel uncomfortable and even painful at times.

The point of treatment is to change in order to create a life that is more meaningful and connected with your values. To do that, therapy requires that you try new behaviors, challenge strongly held viewpoints, and heal emotional wounds. Each of these tasks can feel uncomfortable and at times, even painful and upsetting.

Psychotherapy is a supportive place where you can practice new ways of being, change unhelpful or destructive thought patterns, and move beyond traumas and hurts. Therapists encourage and support people while they make changes, but that encouragement and support does not take the form of agreeing with everything you say and do.

It is important that you trust and feel a connection with your therapist, but you will not always feel comfortable. Change is difficult and can lead to feelings of discomfort, anger, sadness, and anxiety. Your therapist is there to help you make the changes you want in your life and to minimize the personal barriers, such as feelings of discomfort, that stop you from making these changes.

2. Myth: Psychotherapy is advice

Fact: Psychotherapy is not about giving advice. It is about helping you find your own answers or solutions to your difficulties

Sometimes we feel that everyone is trying to give us advice, and we may start to feel lost in the sea of advice we’ve received! You may even seek therapy to help you figure out whose advice you should follow.

The purpose of psychotherapy is to help you find your own voice, to help you discover your own priorities, and to help you acquire the skills to pursue what is important to you.

You are an expert on your experiences and on your life. Your therapist is there to help you see your experiences and your patterns of acting in a new light. Your therapist will help you better understand your ways of being with yourself and others, not for the purpose of telling you how to live or what to do, but to help you gain direction and move forward in your life.

Whether you are looking for therapy in New York, Miami or Portland, remembering what psychotherapy is not can help you take the next steps in seeking help. Although it may feel uncomfortable or you may not hear what you want, you will discover many new things about yourself.

Christeine Terry, Ph.D – Dr. Terry is a Licensed Psychologist in Oregon (License #2182). She uses evidence-based approaches to psychotherapy, primarily Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Functional Analytic Psychotherapy, and mindfulness based approaches.